“Gay is O.K.” Advice to his younger self from the Founder of Fluffer Everyday, a magazine exploring the people in your life that get you hard physically and mentally. We talk sexual shame, activism and why he wants YOUR submissions.
YOUTH and ROLEMODELS
Growing up was there a figure in your life that encouraged you to be fluid if you will with your sexuality?
Robbie Williams. No kidding.
What advice would you give your adolescent self?
Gay is O.K.
Do you remember the first time you felt attracted to a man, if so who was it?
First grade teacher. Obviously.
Is there a fluffer in your life that you interact with daily who doesn’t know it?
They all know it. It’s my job.
Mind or Muscles?
Mind of course.
“If the fluffer is the person getting you hard, mentally and physically, couldn’t she or he be everywhere?”
Can you tell us about Fluffer Everyday and the motivation behind creating it?
Fluffer Everyday started as an idea many years ago, when I first heard of the term “fluffer”. For those that may not know, a fluffer is someone working in the porn industry, with the sole purpose of getting the actors ready for action, or hard if you wanna call it casually. This is an American title that started its career back in the 60s, or even a bit before that, and got cult instantly. That moment I knew that when the time would come for me to do something x-rated, it would have to be about that. But not exactly that. If the fluffer is the person getting you hard, mentally and physically, couldn’t she or he be everywhere? In your work environment, in the metro, walking beside you on the street, or even sleeping with you every night? This is my kind of fluffer, a person that helps you get through your day, a person that makes you smile for a moment and say “damn!”, a person that you secretly photograph in the metro and share on the group chat you have with your friends. So then the idea of Fluffer Everyday was complete. I wanted to make a magazine presenting you the sexy heroes of your everyday life, with no boundaries, not following the norms. And that’s because everything and everyone can be sexy, if the timing is right.
How do you go about selecting subjects for each magazine?
I wanted the first issue to present the idea behind the magazine, everyday people in everyday situations getting you hard. For that, I tried to narrate how a normal day could enroll. So let’s say you get up in the morning you grab your coffee and head to work. Then you come back home, talk with your buddies and then of to bed. So for the first issue I photographed the guy that makes you coffee everyday in the cafe close to your house, the girl you saw on the metro, your sexy flat mate, a hunk practicing basketball close to your house, and last but not least, your lover that you have a sexy video call with.
After that, every issue will elaborate on a “fluffer” theme, a way to categorize fantasies or obsessions so the audience can relate easily. The second issue was about cruising and how to enjoy sex with strangers in public or specified businesses. I tried to present the fascinating world of cruising as best as I could, including tips, rules and trivia that people could use for their own pleasure.
I am currently working on the third issue which will be about leather as an obsession and fetish. What I want to achieve with this issue is whoever gets the magazine, after flipping through the pages and after all the reading to think “damn, I have to try this”.
Shame and sex have a complex relationship that is deeply imbedded in our society. What do you have to say about the fact that a lot of times what might get someone hard makes him or her bear a sense of shame?
It’s crazy how much I have seen this happening since I started the magazine. But on the same time it’s so inspiring. Something shameful for someone could be so basic and boring for another person. Because every single one of us is unique and thus we are attracted to so many different things. One of the reasons that I wanted to do this magazine is because I really believe that we could inspire each other and find new ways to enjoy life and sex to the fullest. I have noticed that people are really willing to submit content (photos, videos, written stories etc), especially when it is about something specific (leather, bears, nipples etc) and this is because they want to be part of this specific kink. It’s like they want to know that there are more people like them, and at the same time the want to ensure others that they are not alone in this. So I guess this is a step towards a shameless way of living.
Do you think apps like Grindr enable men to anonymously explore their homosexual impulses or curiosities without having to reflect and acknowledge their identity and sexuality?
Yes. I think that the apps have really helped men (and women) explore and understand things that in the past they might never have had the chance to. And this is good for a civilized society.
What role do you think sex can play in protest and activism?
Depending the way it is done, sex can have a great effect in protest and activism. However, I think that sex should be used with moderation, because if we overdo it, I am afraid that one day maybe it’s gonna be useless, and this is gonna be bad. Nudity, and sex in general, is a powerful weapon, but only if used by someone with a strong mind set and specific goals to achieve.
“The second issue was about cruising and how to enjoy sex with strangers in public or specified businesses.”
What have you learnt about yourself this year?
I can say no to ice cream. It took my 27 years to achieve this.
Are there any young creatives that excite or inspire you for the future?
Kate Moross and John Booth are my favorite creatives at the moment.
What are your Go-To tracks for exercising and gettin’ down?
Any Simian Mobile Disco song for exercising. No soundtrack for gettin’ down though, I prefer body sounds <3
Do you take submissions?
Yes please! Go crazy!
What would you graffiti on the back of a toilet door?